Long Night .. and it's not over yet

I've been wanting to get on here and put more pictures of Esme up for days. She seems to be getting more adorable by the minute. I sometimes find myself just watching her with a goofy grin on my face because she is so cute and her personality is starting to emerge more and more.

I'm always daunted trying to think of a commentary to go with the pictures because I've never wanted to be a creative writer and there is a reason that I got a Bachelor's of Science. I like facts and questions that have a right and wrong answer. I never enjoyed classes where your mark depended on the whimsy of your teacher, whether they liked your writing style or your drawing style. But, as my husband and sister reminded me, people mostly just look at the pictures and don't read all the words, so just load up the pictures.

I've been excited to take the pictures off our camera, see what gems we've collected and share them on here. And then last night happened and now everything has a different look to me and I just feel sad.

Esme may be having some seizures.

Last night she had gotten to sleep and was down for the night, we thought. Ten minutes later she woke up very distressed and we assumed that she had a dirty diaper, so we went in and changed it. Nope, all clean.

Then I was holding her to resettle her and get her back to sleep in her darkened room. She did some funny jerks and I thought, is she already asleep and do babies do those weird jerks adults do when they are falling asleep? It happened a few more times and because it was more jerky than her regular movements, I started to get concerned.

I brought her out to the living room where there was more light and where Alain was to see if he could see anything. It happened a couple more times and then she seemed fine. Alain thought she was just trying to hold back some throw up. I thought the rhythmic pattern and repetition seemed more abnormal.

We got Mom and Dad to come over and see what they thought and to pray for Esme. By the time they got here, she had stopped doing it and seemed totally normal. We thought we'd see if it happened again and decide to go to the ER or go to the doctor in the morning. And we prayed long and hard.

I did not sleep well. Every stir she made I was checking the monitor to see if she was doing any jerky movements which would indicate more issues.

This morning Alain got up with her and she seemed fine for the hour before I got up. He thought we didn't need to take her to the doctor because she had been working on a big poop and now that it was over the problem was probably resolved. So we decided she was okay and it must have been nothing.

Seconds after we decided that she did the same jerky movement and squinted her eyes, then did it again. Ok. Problem. We quickly got ready and took her to the walk-in. The doctor could see that she looks perfectly healthy in every respect. He said that it most likely will turn out to be nothing serious but that parents know their children best and that if something abnormal is happening they take it seriously. He referred her to the first available pediatrician for full testing and now we just wait for a call.

I'm sad because we have such an alert, beautiful, bright-eyed baby and there are no 'good' reasons why an otherwise perfectly healthy baby would have what might be seizures. We are praying and trusting that God is in control and that he works all things together for good.

Please pray with us! That this is nothing serious. That we will get in quickly to see the pediatrician and for any further testing, so they can rule everything out. That she will not have any more of these episodes.

And now, after that very, very long essay, here are some pictures of our precious girl: